he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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