I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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