Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dignity is for republicans.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
