once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
