Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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