You really coming over, don't trick.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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