I'm lost and stupid without you.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
