just tell him i said nine months
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
