you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
