He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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