I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
