His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
are you so shy because you have an std?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize