Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i believe in u and ur pee
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
