apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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