I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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