If you die in college, do you die in real life?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
