Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
