Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
