hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
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I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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