My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
