I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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