I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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