Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
