I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
