these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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