I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
