O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
