margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
50% drunk capacity currently
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
