just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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