I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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