Me. At least after what I've been through.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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