So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
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About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
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Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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