u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
