Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
