But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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