How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
