I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize