god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
