I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize