well I can't set my house on fire every night
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
