do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm like, not good at living.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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