I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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