Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
