they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
