Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
