I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
