Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
