i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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