How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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