When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
