I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
