Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
