I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
