The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How external is "for external use only"?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
