Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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