Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Pants are for mortals
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize