I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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