I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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