Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
