i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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