We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dear god my vagina.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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