It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
