Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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