We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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