and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
