We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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