Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize